Identity: American or Korean?

The most conflicting question for the main protagonist of this novel is "Who, or even What, is he?"

As the story begins, Henry shows us the list of descriptions that Lelia jotted down for him and gave to him before she left for the islands. It mentioned descriptions such as "emotional alien," "stranger," "traitor," and "spy" (5). This note made Henry realized that he doesn't truly know who he was, whether he was an American or a Korean. The main conflict with this question was that it seemed, to him at least, that he belonged to neither one. He was an American citizen, but only because his mother gave birth to him after the plane ride from Seoul, Korea. "I wondered if I could ever desire as much from this land. My citizenship is an accident of birth, my mother delivering me on this end of a long plane ride from Seoul. In truth, she didn't want me to be an American" (334-335). Part of his skepticism on his identity could stem from the fact that his mother didn't want him to be an American, but his father loved the thought of him being an American.

Another reason could be because of the language barriers. Henry's English was pretty good, but it took a lot of though and calculation for Henry to say something. He was NOT a "native speaker" because some words could not come out of his mouth naturally. On the other hand, his Korean was horrible; he couldn't speak the language very well, preventing him from communicating efficiently with other Korean people. "If I had the sentence, the right words, I would ask her about her family and she could tell me about her daughter and her son. If I were able with my speech..." (316). His inability to speak Korean fluently is keeping him from discovering and exploring the Korean culture and his roots, which is making him question his Korean identity. On the other side of the wall, he is an American citizen, but he is not white, so that makes him feel different; it makes him feel uneasy calling himself an American because Americans are usually associated with white people. Not to mention, he will never be able to speak perfect English because he is also Korean. "I thought English would be simply a version of our Korean. Like another kind of coat you could wear. I didn't know what a difference in language meant then. Or how my tongue would tie in the initial attempts, stuffen so, struggle like an animal booby-trapped and dying inside my head" (233). Henry realizes that English is not like Korean and Korean is not like English; in a certain way, Henry can't speak neither Korean nor English perfectly which makes him feel like an alien from both of his so called cultures or roots. In this way, he doesn't really belong in the American or the Korean cultures.

"I told him how I didn't know the subtle nuances of meanings of Korean names, even though I knew quite a few, that it would have been like naming someone purely by sound. And he wouldn't want an American name, because everybody else had one, because it was all so ordinary...He knew karate, kung fu, tae kwon do, jujitsu. He could be up the big black kids if he wished, the tough Puerto Rican kids, anyone else who called us names or made slanty eyes...He knew all about science, about model rocketry, chemistry sets, baseball cards, about American history. He was the lead in the school play. He spoke a singing beautiful English...He was perfect" (205).

This passage on page 205 was one of the few passages that actually revealed who and what Henry wants to be. This is when Henry is talking to Luzan about his "invisible brother." He mentions how he didn't know Korean enough to name his "brother" with a Korean name that had a special meaning, but he didn't like American names because they were too ordinary. This goes along with the idea that he is split between Korea and America and quite possibly, he could fit under neither of the two. The description of this "brother" is an ideal image of someone who Henry wants to become. This imaginary person is smart, athletic, strong, courageous, popular, and any other positive adjective you could think of. He's merely perfect and that is what Henry wants to be, perfect. Even though it's just one small part of the whole passage, the part where he says this person sang in "beautiful English" stood out to me because I knew that one of the few things Henry wishes he could do was speak perfect English to be part of at least one group. This ongoing conflict is solved at the end when he realizes that he might just be part of both of them, but it doesn't matter as long as you know what you're doing, but this question of his identity is one of the key points of the novel.